Lust
by jendazzle
Summary: **PLEASE REVIEW AND I WILL REVIEW BACK** The tensions between Bella, Edward and Jacob is no new found fact, although when grinding through her own thoughts she finds that maybe she was wrong all along.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note:

Authors note:

I do not own anything Twilight.

Oh and by the way, this is my first try at a Twilight fan fiction, I'm usually all Harry Potter.

So read and enjoy and please please please review. Thanks.

Much love.

I JUST RE-EDITED, SO PLEASE RE-READ AND RE-REVIEW.

I struggled against his indissoluble grasp knowing that within a few hours there would be purple marks encircling my tiny wrists. I looked at him straight into his dark eyes hoping to pierce through to the Jacob Black that used to be there for me. The Jacob Black that use to be my best friend. A slight groan escaped the back of my throat and I prayed that Edward wouldn't be here anytime soon. For if he was it would literally be world war three right here in the middle of my bedroom. His breath was hot and heavy in my left ear and so unlike the sweetness that penetrated off of Edward. I turned my head to look at the rain that splattered up against my bedroom window and shuddered knowing that both these boys, no men, that meant so much to me have both made their way through it. I blinked my eyes open and shut a couple of times hoping that this very guilt that was cascading its way throughout my body was a prop in a dream and that I was really tucked beneath the sheets of my bed, Edwards awaken body laying beside me and watching me rest.

"Why can't you understand that I am better than that filthy bloodsucker, I will give you more to live for. WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

Jacob tightened his grasp on me and I felt like screaming right then and there although I didn't. Fear gripped me as I saw a ripple go through his left shoulder and hoped that he had gained control of his non-human form. I knew that Charlie wasn't home and he wouldn't be for the next 5 hours but something withheld me from screaming into the dark face of Jacob, and it was then that I understood that it was the guilt that was stopping me.

"Jake…" I managed to push out of my drying lips, looking him once more into his black eyes.

He wanted me to breakdown and tell him that he was the one that I really loved and that Edward was nothing to me, and his sick way of yelling at me to try to get it out of me was not the way. Really, there wasn't any point cause he knew perfectly clear that I loved Edward as a Lover and Jacob as a brother. The exciting adrenaline that used to pump through my veins when I used to hang out with Jacob in his garage, building our motorcycles and doing all the fun stuff we used to do was now replaced by a defensive type of adrenaline. The type that came to you when you were in need of hitting something, or someone in particular. I knew what I had to do and had confidence that it would work.

"Go home." I told him plain and simple. His angry distorted face changed back into the young russet colored boy I knew.

"He's on his way." Jacob answered back, his hard lips forming into a smirk.

"I can smell that fool from a mile away." He loosened his grip on me and made his way out my window and back to wherever it was he was going. I made my way over to the brown wood bordered mirror that was placed behind my door and looked at myself. I was a complete disgusting mess. I hadn't showered in 3 days; I was in the same nightie from 2 nights ago and my head stung a little. I didn't know whether the throb that was forming in my head was from seeing Jacobs out of control tactics or if it was lack of seeing Edward.

It was as if my prayers were answered too soon because about 4 minutes later there was a tapping at my window. I walked over cautiously after wrapping a robe around me and smiled a smile so big as I opened up the window. Edward made his way through and shut the window with such grace before turning and looking at me. He was wet from the downpour outside and he pressed his wintry lips to my neck.

"Sorry I'm late" he whispered so softly that I could barely hear him. He kissed his way behind my ear and I could feel my eyes closing and my heart stop beating. His passionate, sweet smell was so overwhelming and the rain only made his smell intensify, causing me to almost faint from such pleasure. He took my hand into his and brought me over to my bed. Edward stretched himself out, putting his arms behind his head, while I made my way on top of him.

"Jacob was here." I said cool and calmly hoping that I would get the reaction I was hoping for. Which I did. The great thing was that Edward didn't really have much objection to me being around Jacob, as long as "the beast kept his hands to himself."

"Ya I know, I could smell that swine from a miles distance. What was he doing here? I sensed him near but couldn't see evidently into his mind, almost certainly some dog thing." there really wasn't any point in lying. I brought my limp wrists to his face and showed him the tiny purple marks that were starting to form.

"HE'S DEAD!" Edward roared and I tried to coax him into calming down. He was at the window in a heart beat prying it open with his big hands. I rushed over to him and placed my small arms on the black v-neck that fit remarkably over his back. I turned him around with much effort and slid my hands up to his torso. I felt another growl forming in his chest so I placed my hands under his shirt and on his stone cold body, instantly seduced by the marble like texture that got to me every time.

"Please, just not now." I said while I rested my head onto his chest. I looked up at the face that I would do anything for, that I loved so much it might just be insane. He took my wrists in both his hands and brought them up to his face. He once again placed his cold lips on them making the hurting feeling leave almost at once. I pushed my way closer to him and frowned in his face.

"Now what did I do?" a sly grin forming on top his beautiful face. He picked me up faster than I could even notice I was off the ground, and carried me to my bed. He came to a rest on top of me and I was almost too-seduced as his muscular form fit nicely on top of mine.

"You haven't kissed me at all in the 5 minutes that you've been here." I giggled playfully, watching his almost concerned expression.

"Yes indeed I have!" he cried out, kissing my neck and ears some more. I raked my hands through his copper hair, feeling the softness of it.

"I mean on the lips"

"Well we all are acquainted with the fact that you just about faint every time I carry out to kiss you, and must I say that I do enjoy your company a great deal more when your heart is thumping and your eyes are open." I nudged him playfully on the shoulder and he lowered his minty lips to mine. I deepened the kiss by pushing his torso deeper onto me and I shivered as his arctic, yet soothing, fingers made their way into the elastic of my underwear. I didn't let him get any further and I pushed him off and made my way to the washroom. My head was full of a pleasant type of nothingness whenever I was near him. A vast nothingness full of love.

"May I ask what in fact you are doing" he asked seductively, his soft voice filling the air around us. Edward got up and made his way to the washroom where he saw me merely look at him straight in the eyes. I kicked off my pink fluffy slippers, suddenly embarrassed by them as Edward was standing near me, his right arms folded and his perfect body perched up against the wall.

"I need to shower" I said coolly, letting him figure out what I was implying. He let the look in my eyes imply what I wanted and gracefully strode over to where I was. He lifted me up on the sink and started kissing me ferociously. Edward pushed up my nightie and slid it over my heard revealing me in only my panties. I tucked my hands under his sweater and undressed him almost too fast. His muscular arms carried me into the shower were we undressed ourselves to the core and I moaned as he pressed himself fully against me, allowing me to feel the hardness forming in between his legs.


	2. Chapter 2

I allowed his brawny arms position themselves on the shower wall behind me and felt myself tremor as he turned on the shower taps

I had to try so hard to not gape like a moron at his god-like body. Even though I had seen him shirtless many times, the beauty that shone off of him at that moment was something that literally made me speechless. I led my eyes crawl from his soft topaz eyes, to his breathtaking décolletage, down to his masculine torso and then finally my eyes came to halt at the center of his body. Edward smiled a nervous type crooked smile, a beautiful one of course, and I sensed a form of embarrassment as he made his nude way closer to me.

I allowed his brawny arms position themselves on the shower wall behind me and felt myself tremor as he turned on the shower taps. My eyes fluttered as I felt the warm water cascading its way to the tips of my body, and the feel of the cold penetration that his body gave off made the nape hairs on the rear of my neck stand. I licked his neck vigorously as he cupped my protruding breasts in both of his hands and stroked them in the most blissful way possible.

"Bella…" he moaned softly into my left ear, kissing every part of my face. Edward buried his hands into my hair and pulled at it lightly as he nipped at the bottom of my ear. He pressed his stone body against my petite frame once more allowing me to feel what he wanted. What I wanted as well. I positioned me right hand on his back and let my free hand roam its way to the end of his torso.

"You seem to have a big and sturdy piece of material attached to you Cullen." As soon as the words dropped out of mouth I felt the redness flood my cheeks like water breaking a wall. I immediately removed my hand and placed them in front of body and feel self-conscious. Edward let out a low chuckle and pressed his lips to me left ear as he took my pallid arms and wrapped them around his neck.

"Shh, your making me nervous." He whispered ever so lightly, placing feathery kisses all over my jaw and neck.

We hadn't gone this far before and I knew it was a big deal to Edward. The control that he was sustaining was immaculate and it only drove me into more wanting. He took my right leg and positioned it around himself before placing his icy fingertips at the higher end of my thighs. He stroked my inner thighs until he knew I couldn't handle it anymore. My first concern was where he had learned all of this but the thought was quickly pushed out of my mind as the sensation that spread over me as his wintry finger stroked me in between my legs, was like nothing I had ever imagined before. I threw my head back against the shower wall and a smile spread across his beautiful face. I didn't want any conversation; I just wanted to hear him say my name over and over again as he drove his hard self into me.

"Edward please, I need more…" I groaned, digging my fingers into his pale back. My legs were now fully wrapped around him and he was supporting me up against the wall with his arms. I kissed him hard on the lips and ran my fingers down his rock hard chest, feeling the warm water on my hands cool instantly.

I felt him tense beneath my touch and I felt a rumble jog its way behind his chest.

"Bella wait." He said anxiously, pulling himself away from me and letting his hard eyes stare into mine. A frown took over his face and he took 2 steps away from me, letting himself lean against the other end of the shower. I looked at him up and down, what a breath taking sight, and once again I felt self conscious so I maneuvered my body to the side so that he wouldn't spot my mushy parts. I felt my inner stomach thump and my heart felt as if it were getting muffled by a pillow. Something was wrong and I knew that whatever it was it wasn't going to get settled tonight. I reached out to touch him but he gave me an icy glare. I looked at him angrily and grabbed a towel from the shelf beside the shower and draped it quickly over my body. He knew I was frustrated and his expression softened.

Edward walked once more over to me and parted his succulent lips to speak.

"Bella I'm sorry, not tonight." He pulled back the shower curtains and placed his arms on the bathroom sink and looked up, staring himself in the eyes. I made my way behind him and ran my hands up his back before he turned and the expression on his face almost made me faint. Edwards face for the first time since I had met him looked unsure and lost; as if a voice in his head was tossing his thoughts from side to side and I instantly knew that it was one of the most stunning expressions that his beautiful face had made. He was so unbelievably handsome that it was almost impossible to believe he was mine. Looking at him made me feel as if there was too much beauty in the world, and no one ever took any time to appreciate any of it.


	3. Chapter 3

The smell of freshly cooked bacon opened up my eyes as I heard Charlie's footsteps make their way around and about in the kitchen beneath me

The smell of freshly cooked bacon opened up my eyes as I heard Charlie's footsteps make their way around and about in the kitchen beneath me. I let out a small yawn before getting up and tasting the awfulness of morning which floated within my mouth. There was always something beautiful about the morning but yet the next morning always found a way to out beat the previous one. Sort of like how we can so easily put a thought out of our minds. Like the way I raced to push Jacobs face out of mine. It had been 3 days since I had last seen him but yet there was still a pang of something that stilled its way in a part of my body and never seemed to go away. Those feelings had found a home. The same way that I had found a home within Edward. I slipped my robe softly on my shoulders and frowned at how disgustingly pale I was before making my way downstairs.

"Bella?"

"Yes, who else would it be?" It came out in a sort of snap, which I rolled my eyes at. I knew that his concerns for me were always number one especially if Edward was in any form involved and I had a feeling that Charlie was starting to suspect that Edward lounged in my room almost every night. And he did, except for the previous 2 nights.

I slid out a chair and sat on it just as Charlie placed a dish of crisp bacon and eggs in front of me. Even though it had only been 2 days since Edwards and mine last 'encounter' it had put a minuscule hurdle up. I of course had seen him every day since then but there was something that bothered him incalculably. I nearly felt as if we were back to where we started from. That very first day at Forks High School. I shuddered slightly menacingly having to think that any sort of connection between me and him was no longer there. Nothing would ever really come between us that I knew for sure, yet there was something and I was pretty sure I knew almost exactly what it was.

"This is different. You making me breakfast. Feels sort of nice." Charlie tossed me a 'just eat it' sort of look and then smiled.

"Well, I just wanted to try my hands at something new." He took his empty plate from the counter and put it into the sink before turning to me. He gave me a weird, blank stare and I knew it was because he had barely much trust in me these days.

"Anyways I'm off to work. I trust that you'll be fine for the day?" I almost got mad. But shook away my upset expression.

"Dad, I'm going to be fine. Really."

Pause.

"Oh and thanks for the food." Charlie gave me one last look and then grabbed his stuff and was gone. I really had to be patient with the whole Charlie situation. I guess the whole 'Saving Edward From Being Killed By The Volturi' bit wouldn't have gone well if I had told Charlie that. I did tell him the basics though. That Edward was in trouble and that I had gone to help him. Which was the truth.

My truck roared to life as I started the ignition, and despite Edwards's generosity on convincing me to let him buy me a new truck I always refused. Something just felt so right about sitting in my truck and looking out of the windshield into the distance. Occasionally I would lay down during a rain fall and rest my head on the passengers side and inhale the ancient smell of tobacco and the sweet smell that always lingered. It was one of those things that I couldn't really explain to anyone. Well not exactly true, Jacob I could. But Edward, no. It was just a different sort of connection that I had with Jacob and not with Edward. And as much as it upset me at times I knew that that's how it was all meant to have come undone.

I sighed as I drove down the dirt road on the way to Edwards and pressed my left hand to my cheek to feel the redness that I knew was already there. Rosalie was going to be at the house all day and the thought of it merely made me recoil. I ultimately tried my finest in dressing to astound and layered on an effortless lace tank top with a white button up blouse that looked somewhat descent with a pair of dark washed jeans I had stashed in my closet and never got around to wearing. It was sort of like a suppressed sort of hurt that probably more than I felt when glancing over at Rosalie. Her beauty was unknown, in the sense that it was so beautiful no words can possibly be able to describe. Sitting there lost in my thoughts of Rosalie I hadn't noticed the quick pacing russet shadow that ran in sync with my car hidden between the trees. I squinted at first making sure it with him and then rolled my eyes in disgust as I realized that it was in fact Jacob. I made a poor attempt in trying to speed up but all that caused was loud uncontrollable noise coming from the slow paced red blob I was located in. I concluded in taking him off guard and drove my self to a complete stop. In an attempt to seem somewhat confident I got out of my car and rested my back on the passenger door as I saw the trees in the right distance of me shudder and unfortunately soon enough there he was, in nothing but a pair of raggedy black shorts, making his way towards me. The scenery would almost of been as beautiful as Rosalie if this fool wasn't anywhere near, and as if he had heard me he made a sarcastic type smile.

"Decided to enjoy the scenery did you?" the sides of his mouth twitched into a wider smile and I nervously looked around and tucked my hair behind my ears. I took in his every detail regretting the fact that I had to admit to my self that he was obviously handsome.

"Oh how'd you guess" Jacob slowly walk closer and placed his left arm to the left of my head.

"What!?"

"Your mad"

"Great observation there."

"Well then why are you out of your car staring at me."

"Lets just say you don't always see a sight as funny as yourself."

"Gee you got me there!"

I threw my hands up, anger penetrating my mind, and stomped over to the side of my car and swung the door open with such aggression.

"Don't leave. I'm sorry. Its just, well…what do you expect me to say.? I mean like you know..like……UGH! ok, whatever I'm leaving, I cant do this." I started the ignition and looked in my rear-view mirror as I drove away. The last think that I saw was the ruffling of the trees in the distance behind me.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: OK so, I hadn't updated this story in probably over a year. I've been having major writers block so this chapters is probably going to get shitty reviews. But none the less, PLEASE REVEW, and I will take the time to review something of yours as well.

So anyways, I'm actually in the process of writing the chapter after this one, so hopefully this chapter isn't that dreadful and you enjoy it.

Ah and P.S, I own nothing Twilight

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The night was cold, damp, and misty. Not much of a surprise. I arose from my computer and walked downstairs to the kitchen sink where I poured myself a bowl of cereal. Oh what the hell, I scooped myself 2 huge tablespoons of sugar and threw it in.

My mind was a skew, like one of those twisty popsicle with the two colours. Never before would I have though that 2 people would bounce back and forth in my mind with such confusion like Edward and Jacob. It was like a toxic pleasurable unknowing feeling.

It was completely childish, selfish, and if I were any smarter I would have jumped off a cliff with a pile of bricks tied to my back.

The sourness from my last conversation with Jacob has clung to me with a sickly suffocating tightness. A mental slap of ice comes colliding across my face as that chilling lonely feeling floods me.

__

"I…I don't know what to say…"

For the first time since I had known Edward, here he was, staring at me blankly in the face. I had reconsidered this conversation many times before, although a tugging nerve-racking feeling told me to hold back.

"Edward please, it's not really a big deal." I looked up from the linoleum floor caked onto the cement in my kitchen and smiled as Edward scooped me from one side of the counter to a roomier one and gave me one of his smiles.

He thrust his lips to the base of neck and began...

"Well if you need to speak with Jacob Black, I hope it's to tell him how satisfied you are with your current--"

Kiss.

"-- cultured--"

Lick.

"--handsome--"

Graze.

"--well dressed--"

Nibble.

"--amazing scented companion…"

I giggled playfully in his ear as he kissed me from ear to ear and placed my hands under his shirt and on his chest. The most tantalizing chill made its way through me at that moment and I dug my face into his neck and began kissing.

"Bella love…" Edward pushed out through succulent lips, as my hands formed trails on his back. I began pushing his black sweater upward, hinting at what I wanted as I nervously nibbled on his ear.

The adrenaline shot throughout me as Edward shoved himself back and looked at me with a concerning glare. He smoothed out his shirt and pushed the stray hands out of my hair and smiled small.

"Edward, what is it?" A doubtful foolish frown waved over me as he took his keys out of his back pocket.

"Come on, I'll drive you." Edward offered out his hand and I eyed him suspiciously and playfully before taking it.

"And where can I ask are you taking me?"

"La Push."

At that moment I felt as if I were being choked through a wind tunnel.

I froze.


End file.
